Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Like Flies in My Head

There are certain thoughts that turn into ponderings. These ponderings stick around and fly wildly around in my head at will. And they continue to do so until they hit a wall hard enough to die.

My recent flies...

1) I love, love, love the results of a home improvement project. I hate the clutter it causes.

2) I need to be a more loving mom. I need to spend time with my kids, instead of shrugging them off. I've noticed lately just how often I say, "Not right now. I need to ______________." Why can't I just say, "Sure!" and let the next load of laundry or the whatever it is wait a few more minutes?

3) I'm wondering about some major things I may need to deal with that I thought I was ok with. I mean, there are issues I've just come to accept as part of my past life. I'm not angered by them. I don't really hold it against the people involved (I don't think). But I'm beginning to wonder how much of that really affects me and who I am. What areas in my life do I need to change as a result of that? Am I harboring a state of unforgiveness without even realizing? Is my callousness just a cover up to what's truly in there?

I'm thinking God has some big lessons in store for me, and while I always love the "draw close to Me"-ness such lessons bring, I'm a bit not looking forward to the hardness of it. It's not going to be fun.

1 comment:

  1. I hear you on all three of these.

    1.The new floors are almost done, but we've been living with furniture displaced all over the house, a fridge in the middle of the kitchen and a stove blocking the dishwasher!

    2. There is a difference between being together all day and actually taking the time to play with the kids. How is it that days can go by without actually playing with them? It still amazes me.

    3. We're a year into a big lesson that God has been teaching us and the end is not in sight yet! The closeness to the Lord we've gotten from it is priceless, but the waiting can be exhausting!

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