Through the Valley to the Mountain

We have a large cottonwood tree in our backyard. It's one of my very favorite things about our yard. Yeah, it's annoying when the early spring breezes blow the fluffy cotton everywhere. Our yard takes on the look of snow all over again. But I love it, because the shape of the tree is ruggedly beautiful and unique. Even in the dead of winter, when the tree is completely bare, it makes me smile. Over the past week, my dear cottonwood has started hanging out its autumn fare. I'm not sure what I think about that. Its beautiful. I'm thinking I'm about ready for some autumn weather and snuggly kids. (My sweet baby girl has not worn an outfit with her legs coverd since the day she was born other than a few days ago when it was cool.)

But, autumn also brings with it some memories that I would much rather block out. I've gone through two majorly deep valleys in my life, both occuring in the fall months. I was just beginning to put the first so far behind that I was really starting to love fall. That's when God dragged me through the second valley.

It's a hard time of year. On the surface, I'm prefectly fine and happy, but somewhere deep inside there's an underlying sadness. On especially gray days, the darkness within threatens to swallow me up. That's when I thrust myself at God, begging for His light to take over. He reaches down and pulles me up to His mountain top where the sun pours its light and warmth over my soul.

And so every autumn, the darkness comes, but every autumn, the Light wins out. Every autumn, the sweetness of God's closeness is thrown upon the saddness of the memories. One day, the sweetness will be equal to the sadness. Soon after, the sweetness will be greater than the sadness, until finally the sweetness entirely engulfs the sadness, leaving only an intense joy. "I do not consider myself to have embraced it yet: but this one thing I do, forgetting what lies behind, and straining forward to what lies ahead" (Phil. 3:13)

So for now, I'm working on climbing God's mountain, my hand in His as He pulls me up to the sunshine.

Even though the journey's long
And I know the road is hard
Well, the One who's gone before me
He will help me carry on.
After all that I've been through
Now I realize the truth
That I must go through the valley
To stand upon the mountain of God.

(Third Day - Mountain of God)