Why does it take so long to heal?
Why do things fester unknown just waiting for one small thing to reopen the wound?
Why do injuries affect every area of life?
Why do the ones I love most suffer because I have suffered?
Why can't life just be normal and everything happy?
Why does it all explode in my face just when I think we're good and all is healed?
How do I turn off the torturous thoughts?
How do I trust when trust is so hard?
How do I choose love over fear?
How do I turn off the sick feeling in my stomach?
How do I keep those around me from being affected by my hurt?
Such a reminder that this world is not my home. There's a longing in my heart to feel eternally safe and accepted. This world and the people around me cannot fill that longing. Only my King can.
Oh Lord, I do need you every hour... well, heck... every second. But there are times when I feel that need even more than normal. And this is one of those times. Teach me to trust You with my heart. Teach me that the love of those around me can only satisfy so long as I am satisfied in you.
Teach me to recognize when thoughts are not from You. Teach me to not give them the time of day. Those thoughts do not deserve my focus. Teach me to learn Your truth and to hold it close to my heart.