So, it's the end of a year again. The end of a chunk of time... 12 months to be exact. Or 52 weeks. Or 365 days. Or 8,760 hours. Or 525,600 minutes.
I have a habit of rewinding and reviewing, which can be a good thing (except at night when I'm trying to sleep). So, as can be expected, I've been doing a lot of reviewing in the past several days... looking back over the last year... evaluating my growth and my failures, my steps forward and stumbles backward.
And I'm actually a bit confused this time. I can't pat myself on the back and say, "Wow! Look how much you've grown! Look at how much you've accomplished!" But I can't exactly say it's been a stagnant year or a year of failure. Maybe it’s just that the preceding two years were marked by such incredible growth and heart workings that they make this past year’s progress seem tiny and insignificant.
In the area of Spiritual discipline, not much change has happened. I still need to be more purposeful in Bible reading and prayer. And then be consistent, once I am purposeful.
Wifery is good. I mean… I really need to work on selfish expectations that morph into thoughts of “but I wanted to…” or “why do I have to do this?” or “I should be the one sleeping, not him”. But on a whole, I love being married to my best friend. Our marriage is simply amazing, not because it’s always fun and easy and perfect, but because we’re in on this together. I still marvel that I, of all people, have been blessed with the Aaron Prentice.
Motherhood…. Hmmm… motherhood has been QUITE the challenge for me. I don’t know. I just…. hmmmm…. never thought I’d be where I am… so totally overwhelmed… so not loving it… so tired… so slushy headed… so stressed every.single.minute of the day. How did I get here? I wasn’t always this way. I loved every minute of motherhood when I had one and two babies. But I don’t remember waking up one morning and deciding I wanted to be an overtired, over stressed, impatient mother. And I don’t know what to do about it. But I do know I want to change.
Please, please don’t ask about home management. I can’t get a handle on housework and keeping up with laundry and dishes. I try. I really do. But I just feel like I’m chasing my tail (or a three year old, two year old, and 7 month old). Just let me know if you plan to stop by. I’ll lock the kids up for a day and clean for ya.
Weight loss… Pahahahaha! Wow. This is hard this time around. Every other time, I’ve lost much more by the time my kidlet was 7 months.
I’m loving homeschooling, but realizing that good planning is a must. I’ve got the entire year generally planned, but not down to the T. And I don’t do real good schooling on the fly. Something I must improve on.
Now I don’t put a lot of confidence into New Year Resolutions (because I’m awful at follow through), but the beginning of a new year certainly seems like a good time to take a good look at what needs to change. I’m not setting goals, per say. Just realizing where my weak spots are and trying to put together a plan to make them strength spots or at least a little less weak.
I’m hoping that getting a handle on a good daily/weekly/monthly schedule will help with many of these areas. We’ll see.
Speaking of the new year, I’m hoping to be able to blog more. Blogging is important to me, because it gives me a chance to empty my brain. And I guess I’m just conceited enough to think that everyone else out there wants to be there when I do.
I’m wanting to do a once a week post for OYOL (which I’m sure you’re tired of hearing about). But I also want to continue with the baby and toddler sleep issues. I also have another idea bopping around in my head that I’m super duper excited about.
We shall see what the new year brings. I have high hopes.