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Monday, January 24, 2011
I had one of those hours this weekend. All I wanted to do was make dinner. I was going to make some crockpot lasagna, but the crockpot base was in the dining room closet (sort of a pantry/craft/sewing/school/toy closet). I had to do a bit of rearranging to get to it. That's when I realized the crock part was in the bottom of the sink under the pile of dirty dishes. I had to spend 20-30 minutes doing dishes just to get to the crockpot so I could cook dinner.
As I stood in the kitchen rinsing dishes and filling the dishwasher, I turned on the stew... the mental stewing. "We live in a complete mess. There's not a single clear floor in this house. There's not a single clear surface in this house. The laundry is never done or put away. The dishes are never caught up. I try so hard to clean the bathroom often enough that we don't all die from scurvy. Why does it have to be all me? Why do I have to do it all? Why am I the only one that even cares if the house is clean or not?"
Am I the only one that does that? Enters into a complete, pitiful, selfish bit of inner stewing? I hate it. I hate when I start looking at things from pure emotion rather than any bit of logic.
I have a wonderful, wonderful husband that doesn't mind if the house is not in tip top shape. On the one hand, I love it. There are no expectations on me to keep a well organized, well cleaned house. I have never once felt pressured by him. But on the other hand, and with all due respect to him, sometimes I just wish it would bother him at least a little. Sometimes, I'm like, "Why do I have to be in here working when he's "just sitting there? Why can't he do the dishes for me?"
But when I stopped myself from enjoying my pity party, I began to think through things. I have my priorities all mixed up. We have a lot in our lives right now... a lot of slices in our pie, if you will. I've been trying desperately to make each slice even. But the thing is, they can't. I just end up running in circles and never fully giving my all to anything.
There are 168 hours in a week. Of those hours, my husband only has 31 waking hours at home (when he is not at work or school). Only 9 of those are during the week. The other 22 are the weekend days. During those home hours, he does a lot with and for the kids, he does his homework, and fixes any major problems we may have in the house or with the computers. Should I not be happy when he gets a chance to just sit and rest? Work, school, and fatherhood are some major, major chunks of pie.
And my 168 hours in a week? Hmm... honestly, I have no idea how it's spilt up. I know I've been trying to make it all even, and that's not working. I do know that one of the biggest chunks should be motherhood. I have got to spend more time training and loving my children and less time pulling them out of trouble. I have a feeling that I would spend a whole lot less time disciplining and being frustrated if I would take the time to lovingly train them. I need to view kids chores as training for the future, instead of an annoying battle of the wills. I need to view reading with the kids as a bonding time, not a waste of time.
I also need to just accept that housekeeping is my chunk of the pie. Like or not, it is my job to make sure it gets done. That doesn't mean that I can't enlist help or delegate some of the work. But I am the manager of our home. That's my lot in life. It's not a lot, but it's my life. ha.
Slicing the Pie
So the assignment for this week is to figure out what slices are in your pie and how big each slice should be? Then go through all the chores, projects, hobbies, dreams, and aspirations that you listed on the routine page from last week and prioritize them. Which ones belong in the biggest chunk of your pie? These will be A priority. Which ones will fit into the next largest chunk of pie? These will be B priority. And so forth.
You can do this however you like. I'll probably just take a different colored pen for each priority and mark a little A,B,C, or whatever beside each one.
NEW!!! Here's a worksheet to help you think through the pie slices, if you need it.
Post something about your journey and link up below. I'd love to hear how it's going.
For those that seem to have dropped the OYOL ball.... if it's because you don't want to, that's great... go do what you need and want to do. But if you really want to get a better hold on your life, but are just frustrated, don't give up. Keep going. I read a quote the other day.... A year from now, you'll wish you had started today.
Posted by Brenners at 11:14 PM