Life is running. Time is flying. It seems the days are in a race to see if they can end sooner than the one before... yet, winter is still here. SIGH.
We have started a bedroom remodel in our room... carpet, paint, new bed, perhaps nightstands (instead of cardboard boxes). We will also replace the carpet in the kids' room and get a bunk bed for the older two. Yup. They all sleep in the same room. It's what we got. So, yeah... fun stuff, but makes for craziness... oh and sleeping on the couch.
It seems like I am almost always worried about at least a handful of things about the kids... diaper rashes, teeth, attitudes, moods, discipline issues, ways I've hurt them. Will it always be this way? Will there always be that constant state of concern?
And will there always be that thought in the back of my head that I am some way going to ruin their lives? I was such a perfect mom, before I had kids. But you know what? My kids have a sinner for a mother. And I don't like that. I'd rather they have a 100% perfect, always loving mother.
It's Mommy date month again. Last week was Daryn's turn. Today was Cherith's. I love Mommy dates. I just like focusing on one kid at a time. As I watched Cherith giggling over her chicken nuggets and happy meal toy today, I had to smile. She's is really growing up into such a lovely, beautiful girl. And I wondered how could such perfection, such joy, such delightfulness come from me? Man, I love my kidlets. My husband and I make some pretty good ones, if I do say so myself.
P.S. Have you heard Francesca Battistelli's song, This is the Stuff? I love it, not because it's the greatest sounding song out there, but because it stikes a chord with me. It's not the key loosing or the speeding, but the tiny little daily things... spilled juice, Desitin on the couch, buckets of toilet water dumped on the floor, hearing "mom" a thousand times in a 15 minutes period, whining, kids bickering, crumbs under the table, newly folded laundry dumped, dirty dishes, toys everywhere... yeah, this is the stuf He uses in my life.